She’s listening!
And she feels the calm trust within herself to explore. To not rush the process. To play and experiment.
To be a kid.
Now I know there are kids who feel like they have a calling. They want to be doctors. Or actors or astronauts. At 9, I said I wanted to be a therapist–and my gut instinct wasn’t too far off.
Yet, even when a kid appears to be heading in a straight line, it benefits all of you to validate that hunger and drive AND also note early and often–there are a lot of things you can be that will give you the thing you’re looking for in being a doctor. It’s a clue, but it doesn’t have to be an answer. Especially not the only answer.
My work with clients and the challenges that show up in our sessions helped me to develop this approach to parenting and career with my kids. It also makes me dig in further as they get older.
Many clients show up stressed that…
They never figured out what they wanted to be when they grew up.
They spent time and money becoming [insert career path] and they don’t want to leave their profession.
They’re bored doing what they’re doing but they can’t picture doing anything else–because they never have.
Their work is tangled up with their identities. Who would they be without it?
We are winning when we teach our kids to focus on their interests, their strengths and their quirky personality traits that make them who they are. With that self-awareness and some gentle guidance from you and other experts who can show them what’s possible, expose them to different career paths and they will find their own answers.
And it may take some shitty jobs, experiencing what they don’t want to get clarity on what they do want. Most of us have had those and we’ve lived to tell the tale.
If we put the pressure on too early, we cut them off from their natural creativity. And they will need this creativity time and time again as their windy career paths unfold.
Careers have many more transitions than they once did, so the tools of reflecting, experimenting with clues and taking risks jumping into new roles–will be MORE important to their careers than the specific paths they choose.
Here for you and your thoughtful kids declining to answer school surveys that limit their futures.
